If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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