Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
