Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Randomize
