Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
zippers are such a cool invention
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
