it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
