I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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