Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
