his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Dick very happy bro
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize