yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
