Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
