I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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