cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Drunk is not a location!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
