His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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