I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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