Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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