erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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