good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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