Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
