It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
