so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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