its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
