Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
