Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
