P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
