Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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