absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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