i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
