Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
