The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Acid is not a monday night drug
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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