as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
