I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
