...so i touched it.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
