The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize