Having a random hookup so left but love u
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
