...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
