OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
