I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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