I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
