Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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