What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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