Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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