she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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