??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
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