Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
