I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
