Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
