It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize