Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize