We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize