I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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