with your own penis?
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
