I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
