so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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