Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
