i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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