I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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