Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
