2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
