I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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